RAMADI, Iraq — Deployment itself is not a relationship killer, says
Capt. Kevin Landtroop, judge advocate general counselor in Ramadi.
Most of the servicemembers who inquire about divorce are in
relationships that likely wouldn’t last anyway, he said.
About 400 people, about 10 percent of the 1st Brigade Combat Team in
Ramadi, have been to the office with questions, he said.
“In most of the situations, the couples are young and impulsive — in
their first year of marriage — they have typical marital issues like
money,” Landtroop said. “The conditions of deployment exacerbate the
issue, but it’s not the smoking gun.”
And, on the other hand, deployments can also make couples stronger,
Warner said.
“Increased home-front stress doesn’t necessarily mean bad outcomes for
families,” Warner said. “Many families feel stress from deployments and
grow stronger and more resilient as a couple.”
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For servicemembers downrange, the trick is to separate truth from
fiction, said Capt. Jim Bolton, combat stress officer for the 1st
Brigade.
“Just because the soldier is gone and isn’t a part of the day to day
doesn’t mean the family doesn’t care about them,” said Bolton, of East
Troy, Wis. “They think that they’re family units are falling apart, but
people care about them.”
The Army spends a lot of time on prevention, Bolton said. At home,
families can access “Battle mind for Family” sessions, Family Readiness
Groups, Army Community Services, and local medical/mental health
resources. Deployed servicemembers also have access to mental health
care, three-day stress-relief “fitness sessions” and classes on
different ways to manage stress.
For Staff Sgt. Cynthia McClain, a medic in Ramadi, the key isn’t how
often you talk with loved ones, but what you talk about.
“When I get stressed, I let my husband talk it out of me,” said the
36-year-old from Atlanta. She also asks him the same question whenever
she calls. The day-to-day stuff can be very comforting, she said.
“I always ask ‘What’s for dinner?’” McClain said.
“And now he can say what he wants since I’m not there to gripe about
it.”
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Larry Scott --
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