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PTSD LEAVES VETERANS FIGHTING AN EMOTIONAL
BATTLE
UPON RETURN -- "I really do love my wife. I do
value our
marriage. I just want her to see my face to
know that I love her."
Thirty-year-old Jassen Lloyd holds
onto his wedding band as he outlines his struggle with
post-traumatic stress disorder and the effect it has had on his
marriage. (photo: Tyson Ritter / The Eureka Reporter) |
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PTSD leaves vets fighting an emotional battle
upon return
by Renee Gusching
When Arcata resident Jassen Lloyd woke up one sunny morning last week,
he headed out the door and begin walking south. Not having much money
and feeling he was starting from the bottom, Lloyd walked toward a place
where he expected a lot more fair-weather days and where he could be
near his wife. Redwood City, about 25 miles south of San Francisco, was
that destination.
After he had traveled only as far as Eureka, friends intercepted and
convinced Lloyd to head back home. He complied, and for the meantime,
says he’s taking things day by day.
A sergeant in the National Guard who came back from Afghanistan last
November, Lloyd only recently discovered he has been dealing with the
effects of post-traumatic stress disorder, a condition he says has left
him bitter, reclusive and coping with an easily triggered temper.
Lloyd says the worse effect of PTSD, however, has not been his emotional
battle, but the havoc the condition has created in his marriage.
“I really put (my wife) through a living hell,” Lloyd said last week,
sitting on a park bench near his home. “I was really verbally and
emotionally abusive.”
Lloyd accused his wife of things she shouldn’t have been accused of. He
made up excuses not to spend time with her, he said.
About two weeks ago, the rocky relationship culminated in his wife since
May leaving him to be with her family and Lloyd struggling to figure out
his next move.
“She was always trying to help me,” he said. “I never listened.”
Mary E. Baker, a licensed clinical social worker and team leader at the
Redwood Vet Center, described PTSD as “a normal reaction to an abnormal
situation. We like to think of it more as a mental injury rather than a
mental illness,” she said.
PTSD is an anxiety disorder experienced by individuals who have suffered
an emotional trauma. It can be the result of sexual abuse, natural
disasters, military combat or other event that causes an individual to
fear for their life.
According to a recent study conducted by Dr. Karen Seal and colleagues
at the San Francisco Veterans Affairs Medical Center and the University
of Southern California, records reviewed for more than 100,000 veterans
who separated from active duty between 2001-05 showed the most common
diagnoses found were PTSD and depression.
Among veterans, especially young service members returning from Iraq and
Afghanistan, not realizing they have the disorder is “very common,”
Baker said.
Lloyd recalled hearing about PTSD after returning from overseas, but
concluded those afflicted must have seen the worst of the War on Terror.
Having experienced rocket attacks, but never having to fire a weapon,
Lloyd didn’t recognize the symptoms of PTSD in himself.
“I really thought, ‘I’m messed up,’” Lloyd said.
It was a vet center counselor who recently made the connection.
A Marine before he joined the National Guard, Lloyd previously spent
four years at Camp Pendleton in Southern California. It was during that
time his mother died.
Later, after coming to Humboldt County and attending college courses,
Lloyd joined the National Guard. The yearlong tour of duty he was sent
to serve in Afghanistan turned into only eight months. Lloyd was sent
back suffering from depression he links with his mother’s death — an
additional trauma in his life.
Following his return to the local area, things seemed to improve. The
friendship he had with his current wife blossomed into marriage in the
spring.
He credits his condition, however, with putting his marriage on the fast
track to the divorce proceedings his wife has since begun.
“I know who I am (despite) all I went through overseas,” Lloyd said.
He added he’s scheduled appointments with a counselor at the vet center
and is “doing all (he) can do.”
A heart-to-heart phone conservation Lloyd had with his wife recently has
left him hopeful that with some dedication to learning how to handle his
condition, he might be able to win back her trust.
“I really do love my wife,” Lloyd said, pointing out the gold wedding
band he was wearing. “I do value our marriage.”
While he said he still hadn’t decided if he would again start the trek
to Redwood City, Lloyd said if he did go through with it he’d give his
wife the space she needs and work to find a job.
“I just want her to see my face,” he said, “to know that I love her.”
Living with PTSD
If post-traumatic stress disorder in veterans is diagnosed early enough,
“we can teach people how to learn to live with it,” said Mary E. Baker,
licensed social worker and team leader at the Redwood Vet Center.
Symptoms that may be present after a traumatic event that the individual
didn’t experience before could include feeling irritable, having
outbursts of anger, having difficulty concentrating, hyper vigilance and
an exaggerated startle response, Baker said.
Other indicators of PTSD can include re-experiencing the trauma in
thoughts or dreams, trying not to think about it or avoiding things
associated with it, losing interest in former hobbies and finding it
difficult to express affection.
PTSD is considered acute if an individual experiences its symptoms for
less than three months and chronic if symptoms last longer.
Counseling, support groups and information on PTSD is available to both
veterans and family members at the Redwood Vet Center in Eureka. For
more information, phone 707-444-8271.
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Larry Scott --
